Post by hendo on Aug 27, 2020 16:54:00 GMT
Pre season rant....
Who supports whom?
How do we choose the team we support? Family, geography, peer pressure, the desire to conform or rebel? Many factors determine where we hang our brightly coloured scarf and it’s a decision that usually lasts a lifetime.
Of course, most supporters have selected their favourite side from the Premier or Championship and a benefit of doing so is to help out non-league teams by automatically activating clause 7, subsection 2 from the imaginary Football Fans Rule Book which states ‘any person who supports a football club is entitled to have a second favourite, provided that the side chosen is from a league at least four steps further down the football pyramid’. So, it’s fine to support Chelsea and Godalming or Tottenham and Guildford but not Arsenal and Walton and Hersham – but that’s because no sane person should support Walton and Hersham.
But why is it that with no qualifications needed whatsoever to become a supporter of a superstar side, does it make so many of them behave as though they are in some way a little superior to fans of teams from the lower areas of the pyramid?
Even the TV and radio pundits can’t help but adopt a patronising tone and knowing smile when mentioning some ‘plucky’ lower league team whom they deem to be punching above their weight. Interviews with the chairman or manager invariably turn to questions of who marks out the pitch or makes the tea or whether their top striker can get time off work from his job grading haddock.
Back when Godalming visited Hereford in the Cup, the supporters there couldn’t stop themselves from patting the brave boys from Surrey on the head for a jolly good effort and offering us a bag of sweets for the journey home. Perhaps we would do the same if Godalming were playing the plucky lads from the returns department at Screwfix.
Anyway, it’s illogical. Nobody has earned the right to be aligned with any elite club in the same way the players have. Fans have had no training or completed supporter apprenticeships. Liverpool crowd scouts have never plucked anyone from the freezing sidelines at Chipstead to give them a shot in the Kop.
To bring some order to this situation, my plan is to introduce a scheme to help fans learn their trade and then be judged on their supporting abilities, rewarding those that achieve top levels with the best seats and reduced admission at their favourite ground.
The whole scheme would be run by the FA and all wannabees would attend official courses to study for their Supporter badges. Running alongside the classroom training, at least ten matches a season must be attended in Step 5 or below to learn what it takes to be a fan at grassroots level, with their FA membership card stamped on each occasion and proof supplied that at least one cup of Bovril has been consumed without vomiting or use of the defibrillator.
The following season, qualified candidates can move up a pyramid step and this promotion will continue in the same way every year until those that have survived the complete course earn the right to take the tricky final written and practical exams to achieve a full Premier League Supporting licence and the chance to proudly wear the coveted Grade One Superfan scarf.
These tests will include answering extensive football trivia questions, an understanding that it is ‘all the ball over all the line’, a requirement to create a rhyming chant for Arsenal’s Sokratis Papastathopoulos, and the ability to balance a cup of hot beverage and burger and chips up a steep terrace without spillage whilst wearing unmatched woolly gloves.
The best deserves the best. Simple.
Who supports whom?
How do we choose the team we support? Family, geography, peer pressure, the desire to conform or rebel? Many factors determine where we hang our brightly coloured scarf and it’s a decision that usually lasts a lifetime.
Of course, most supporters have selected their favourite side from the Premier or Championship and a benefit of doing so is to help out non-league teams by automatically activating clause 7, subsection 2 from the imaginary Football Fans Rule Book which states ‘any person who supports a football club is entitled to have a second favourite, provided that the side chosen is from a league at least four steps further down the football pyramid’. So, it’s fine to support Chelsea and Godalming or Tottenham and Guildford but not Arsenal and Walton and Hersham – but that’s because no sane person should support Walton and Hersham.
But why is it that with no qualifications needed whatsoever to become a supporter of a superstar side, does it make so many of them behave as though they are in some way a little superior to fans of teams from the lower areas of the pyramid?
Even the TV and radio pundits can’t help but adopt a patronising tone and knowing smile when mentioning some ‘plucky’ lower league team whom they deem to be punching above their weight. Interviews with the chairman or manager invariably turn to questions of who marks out the pitch or makes the tea or whether their top striker can get time off work from his job grading haddock.
Back when Godalming visited Hereford in the Cup, the supporters there couldn’t stop themselves from patting the brave boys from Surrey on the head for a jolly good effort and offering us a bag of sweets for the journey home. Perhaps we would do the same if Godalming were playing the plucky lads from the returns department at Screwfix.
Anyway, it’s illogical. Nobody has earned the right to be aligned with any elite club in the same way the players have. Fans have had no training or completed supporter apprenticeships. Liverpool crowd scouts have never plucked anyone from the freezing sidelines at Chipstead to give them a shot in the Kop.
To bring some order to this situation, my plan is to introduce a scheme to help fans learn their trade and then be judged on their supporting abilities, rewarding those that achieve top levels with the best seats and reduced admission at their favourite ground.
The whole scheme would be run by the FA and all wannabees would attend official courses to study for their Supporter badges. Running alongside the classroom training, at least ten matches a season must be attended in Step 5 or below to learn what it takes to be a fan at grassroots level, with their FA membership card stamped on each occasion and proof supplied that at least one cup of Bovril has been consumed without vomiting or use of the defibrillator.
The following season, qualified candidates can move up a pyramid step and this promotion will continue in the same way every year until those that have survived the complete course earn the right to take the tricky final written and practical exams to achieve a full Premier League Supporting licence and the chance to proudly wear the coveted Grade One Superfan scarf.
These tests will include answering extensive football trivia questions, an understanding that it is ‘all the ball over all the line’, a requirement to create a rhyming chant for Arsenal’s Sokratis Papastathopoulos, and the ability to balance a cup of hot beverage and burger and chips up a steep terrace without spillage whilst wearing unmatched woolly gloves.
The best deserves the best. Simple.